On one evening a fair while ago, I found myself with some exceptional ingredients and a great recipe I wanted to try. Though thanks to some unforeseen circumstances I also found myself alone without anyone to make it with or well for! So with a lack of options for a companion, I ended up making a special dinner for myself! I even poured myself a glass of wine, listened to some of my favourite music and danced around my kitchen while I set up my sweet and intricate dinner! It was amazing, I realized that it has been a long time since I took a night to do something only for me! Even the spa nights I have had were suggested by my girlfriends so they could relax. This was different though, I had a glass of my favourite wine and I got to be. Not to say that when I am with my boyfriend or friends I don’t just get to be.
It was almost a freedom of being, I didn’t have to worry about school or work. Though I won’t lie, once I sat down and looked at my empty apartment it got lonely… only because I was supposed to have an old friend over. Though once I looked past the situation that got me there I was able to relax again. I got to watch my favourite shows without having to start at the beginning or explain the situation to someone. I could sprawl out on the couch in any manner I wanted and not have to share space. It was really nice and reminded me that I should take more time to do that, and since then I have. I have gone to the movies alone, taken in a lovely takeout dinner while drinking a lovely glass of infused water, I have even taken nights to just lay in the tub with a bath bomb and book for an hour or so. Just taking a few minutes to relax has been amazing, though I do aim for about an hour or two a week just to be with myself.
This has reminded me that it is important to have time to relax and take care of yourself. That you can’t control everything so taking time to be alone and do exactly what you want to do can feel empowering. It has even reminded me that I am not defined by my friendships and romantic relationships, and that no matter how things end up I have myself.