Moving is stressful, and ridiculously annoying and something I have done more than my fair share of. Though it has never been hard, before now. At the end of the month, I am moving from the apartment I have called home for the last two years of my life. I have to not only pack but downsize, as I am moving into a much smaller place. As I go through my stuff I just feel somewhat sad. I have made a life here, I created many friendships, technically had my first date with C*, and have spent numerous nights crying within these walls.
As much as I am excited to leave to a new adventure, I can’t help but go through everything that has happened within this apartment. All the friends that have slept on my couch, all the late night conversations with my roommates, all the crying on the floor drinking coffee. The day my dad and Zachery moved me in, and we stayed up drinking shitty alcohol and acting like idiots. The night C* brought me ice cream and pizza because I had a really bad day and I just needed comfort food and to cry. I guess what I am trying to say is I have had some horrible days in this apartment but I have also had some spectacular ones.
I am so happy to get to move somewhere else and try something new but something in me just needs to sit back and think about everything that has happened here. My apartment is frequented by friends and has been the “hub” of my group for a long time. I can sit in the living room and think of all the game nights, spa nights, the dinners, the laughing, the ranting, every second of it. The weird part is that I never had this problem when I moved from my parent’s house, but I guess I didn’t make a life there, I just had one. To move from a life I love to a new part of the city, to a new type of apartment, without the roommate I have had for two years, it’s scary. I can’t help but be scared that I won’t be able to have the life I have here.
Even though it is sad to think of everything, it has also been niceish, it has given me an appreciation for those in my life and everything we have been through together. Looking back on all of this has almost reaffirmed a lot of my friendships and feelings and hopes. It was hard at first because I was questioning my decision to move but now it is just satisfying to look back on all of it before I leave.