Love, it’s a tricky thing. Every love is different, and no one wants the same thing in love. Though the one thing I am certain about with every love is that we give a bit of our self to the person and they give a bit of themselves. Through the laughs and the stories, the shared interests and the time we spend with them, we change. We don’t try to change, and they don’t try to change us, but we do. We find new interests from them, and in turn, they do too. The changes don’t have to be anything big, they could be as simple as a change in food palate, or even a new hobby! These changes are important, along with the lessons we learn, and the interests we gain. They help create a better version of ourselves then the version from the day before, maybe even a happier version!
Many people fear the change that comes, I myself was always scared to be in a relationship for this reason! I thought I would lose myself, not gain a new self. I decided that change was worth the relationship I was pursuing and in all honesty, I didn’t think there was any change. Though recently I realized all the changes in my life since my relationship has started, even the small ones. The things I have tried, the things I am more comfortable talking about and the things I am not scared to be. I can actually just be, I have gained an interest in spicy food, I have become more comfortable just being with someone. I actually am not scared to admit to my emotions and feelings, hell I actually am ok with expressing them. I didn’t lose anything, I just gained a new freedom of self. This is something I didn’t even realize… until It hit me like a brick as I was ordering Indian food for myself and realized I never would have made that my first choice before starting my relationship. Something so small but weirdly significant, especially because there are a lot of small things I wouldn’t do or was too scared to last year, including talking about emotions, being emotionally intimate with someone and well anything along that spectrum… but now I am not scared.
This exchange of selves is not only present in romantic love, it can be seen in friends and family too. I can’t tell you the amount that has changed as I have become closer with some of my friends, the things I have tried that I never thought I would, the better person I have become because of them! These changes are amazing and can make your world so much better, they can even affect your life long after the loved one has left it. These changes are things that I realized I should not be scared of but instead grateful for because if I had not met my friend Katherine in Highschool I wouldn’t have gained the courage to move away for university. If I had not met Zachery I would never have gained the confidence to own my choices and my words to the extent I have! Even now If I had never met my friends Serena and Alison I would never have had people to help me when I needed guidance in emotions or to actually help as my life seemed to be crumbling around me!
I guess the point of this is to say that everyone you meet touches your life, and those you love leave a more permanent mark and help you grow to be an extraordinary person! Even if that is them opening up your heart or opening up your interests! Plus you are leaving a mark on them, even if you can’t see it!